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i-les-miserable said: Hello, I was the anonymous person that was talking about my boyfriend who really isn't into D/s. I am really into it I read as much as I can and learn what I can with out someone to help. Is there a way to necessarily introduce it to him?

The first and most important question introducing your D/s desires to your vanilla partner will bring on for them is: “alright, what does this mean for me?”

You’re introducing this because you want something to change. He’ll want to know what that is, what this “D/s stuff” will mean for your relationship. What do you want to change about him, about the relationship?

Give him the same things you’d give any new Dominant. Articles explaining the terminology and the lifestyle to him, articles about what makes a good Dominant, personal posts you’d like to share to give him a better idea of your feelings, maybe some of your own submissive thoughts written down. Secondly, start behaving like his submissive. Give him power over you, give in to his suggestions and ideas, follow his lead any time he makes a small attempt at being Dominant, encourage him to take control.

You should have a concrete idea of what your D/s desires are. Telling him “I want you to be more Dominant” doesn’t mean anything, saying “I want you to give me rules to live by” does. But, understand that someone who isn’t naturally Dominant, is probably going to need something as specific as “I want you to give me a bedtime rule and make me stick by it”, at which point he is not being Dominant, he is merely following your orders to give you orders. In the end, you can try to bring out someone’s innate Dominant nature, but if it’s not there, you cannot create it.

Anonymous said: I've been interested in D/s relationships since forever. I'm 18 now and well I've been in a relationship with a man I love to death for a year now. Of course he isn't really interested in it which sucks but I love him so what ever makes him happy I with it. I do see some dominant qualities within him though not just in sex but just the way he is and how he acts. But not everyone is meant to be a Dom and I know that. Most people tell me to leave him and all that but I'm not miserable, I'm happy.

If you don’t need a D/s relationship to be happy, then be happily vanilla instead. Whatever works for you is good.

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